May 17, 2008
Days Gone By
I brought Dad's photo cube home from the office. It's been sitting under a pile of mail on the dining room table, out of sight and out of mind. Today's feeble attempt at spring cleaning uncovered it and I remembered my promise to share it with you.
I don't blog about my family much these days. Partly because they all read it, but mostly because I don't know where to begin. My family has been through rough times of late. Incredibly rough. For a family that was once so close-knit as ours it is disheartening to see it falling apart so uncontrollably. But the tailspin won't end until everyone does their part to take accountability for their own actions.
I've worked my way through some very difficult realizations which have resulted in me basically washing my hands of everything. Part of being the only one who lives far away is that everyone thinks you're on their side. I've been relegated to being the peace keeper, the intervention strategist, the nurturer, the "break it to you gently" messenger. I'm done. It pains me deeply but that's where we rest. The members of my family have to do their own work instead of expect me to feed it to them. Perhaps in time things will right themselves. If they don't...well, I can learn to live with that. And they will have to, also.
Which brings me back to the photo cube. Dad kept this on his desk for almost thirty years. After he died I claimed it as my own and put it on my own desk. I didn't want to take the cube apart to scan in the photos, so pardon the less than super pictures. Click to enlarge.
The MAK siblings, circa 1980.
My sister, L.
Me.
My brother, Fireman.
Mama MAK.
Perhaps looking at the cube on my desk was a daily reminder of how things used to be that had me trying so hard to bring everyone back together. Perhaps the people in these photos will take a long look at them now, remember the way things used to be, remember what it was like to smile , and do justice to the memory of the man who took the photos and used to keep us all together in spite of ourselves.
The crutch may be gone but we still have legs.
Posted by mak at May 17, 2008 2:18 PM | TrackBackIn time, things likely will be fine. In the years between my Dad's death and my Mom's, one close member of the family went so far off the reservation that I really thought the rift would never be healed. This person (whom I shall not name, since that wouldn't be right) really made things rough in the family. I got to the point of washing my hands of the situation.
Sadly, part of the force that healed things may have been my Mom's death. I can only surmise that it snapped the person in question out of it. In any event, peace was made, the issues were put behind, and things are better now. In fact, they're so good, and we're so close, that I never would have believed it possible in those bad years.
So sit back and let things play out, but remain optimistic. It will take time, but things can work out!
Posted by: Jess at May 17, 2008 8:58 PM