It's been 119 days...
Since your smile cut through the despair...
Since the gleam in your eye outshone the sun...
Since the warmth of your hand melted my heart...
119 days.
I haven't been able to get you out of my thoughts for more than three seconds at a time. I have missed you so hard that I want to rip my heart out of my chest and throw it under a bus. I haven't been able to cry because I'm afraid that if I do it means I'm letting you go.
119 days...and on each one I have done my best to be even half the man you inspire me to be.
Today you would have turned 56. Oh, how I would rather have 56 instead of 119.
Happy birthday, Dad.
I love you.
Posted by mak at February 27, 2007 7:06 AMMak,cry! It's okay. Dad misses us too but he is painfree, happy and guiding us. I have cried first thing this morning and I will all day. More than I have most days but it's okay.
I miss him so much my heart aches. But today I want to try to celebrate his being born and how much I have because od that. Including 40 years off knowing him, 35 years of being married to him and 3 beautiful children and one beautiful granddaughter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART! I LOVE YOU!
Does it help at ALL if I tell you that your dad figures prominently in the staging of "Age of Aquarius" that I create in my head when I'm on the treadmill? I think of him a lot, too, and I never even knew him (as you know). But in some ways I feel I have, because I know YOU.
Huge hugs to you and the glorious MamaMAK.
And Happy Birthday, MAKDaddy!
Posted by: Jodi at February 27, 2007 10:42 AMYour mom's comment shows great wisdom. Not that anything can really make this easier, but try to follow her lead and celebrate all of the good things that happened because he was born.
*hug*
Posted by: Jess at February 27, 2007 10:44 AMwow
Posted by: Kevin at February 27, 2007 11:30 AMWhat a fortunate son you are. Not because you lost your dad, but because you had him...and because you still have your wonderful mom, who is so funny and hip...and heartbroken, like you. There's no shame in being heartbroken, and your mom is right...cry. It's part of coping. And think of all the wonderful things and terrific times you had together, because those are the memories to keep, not the ones of his being sick (and that's the hardest step to master...I know). But it will come, in time.
Hugs to you.
Posted by: Marc at February 27, 2007 7:57 PMOh, sweetie! Love to you. HUG!
Posted by: Karen at February 28, 2007 1:51 PMRemember him with love and gratitude.
We aren't all lucky enough to have had
loving parents
Honey, cry. It took me a while to cry for my father after he passed away. I felt like if I started, I might not ever stop. It's cathartic and you'll feel so much better and closer to him.
There are going to be days where it hurts so much and days where it doesn't as much. It just takes time.
Posted by: mark at March 2, 2007 11:48 AM