'Til The Cows Come Home

Ready Or Not, Here Comes Mama

At the ripe old age of fifty-five, my mother is retired.

(Okay, so I totally just typed the word 'retarded' instead of 'retired' and had to fix it. It was an honest mistake. Really.)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mama MAK has put her days of employment behind her. But fear not, for she's still being productive. She's taken to wandering around Northeast Ohio, eating at Bob Evans, going to the library, catching the occassional matinee at the local cineplex, getting her hair did and nails done, and - brace yourself, for this is the biggest shocker of them all - cooking dinner for her husband. Yes, my dad's days of Cheerios, peanut butter cup ice cream and Dos Equis for dinner are far behind him.

But before you think that retirement has softened dear old Mama MAK, rest assured that she hasn't yet resorted to purchasing McDonald's coffee with her Golden Buckeye Card discount, and still makes fun of those who do.

She is, however, becoming fond of the large print books at the library. But we'll let that slide.

Mama MAK's newfound freedom from employment also increases the possibility of her making a loooooooooong overdue trip to New York City to visit her favorite homo son. The last time she was here was July of 1999, when Star Jones was still fat and on television, John Jr. was taking off for the last time and Eyes Wide Shut was the hot new weekend release (which we went to see to escape a heat wave and is, incidentally, not a film that I would recommend you watch with your mother).

This afternoon she told me to keep an eye on airfares. I'll be sure to keep everyone informed of Mama MAK's travel itinerary, as I know many of you will want to meet her as badly as she wants to meet all of you. And I'll happily make that happen.

Now, how do I tell her what to pack for Sunday afternoon Beer Blast at the Eagle?

Posted by mak at September 6, 2006 9:59 PM