If you had to pick one of my insane family members to be the "quiet one" it would probably be my father. Usually the silent observer, smiling and shaking his head in either disbelief or denial, every now and then he pulls a zinger out of his hat. And when he does, boy, it's a doozy.
Today is my father's fifty-fifth birthday. Since he's the most difficult person to shop for, I called him Friday night to give him one more chance to ask for some primo presents.
"Really," Papa MAK said, "You don't have to get me anything."
"We don't have to, but we're going to," I said. "All you ever want for Christmas and your birthday are Amazon.com gift certificates. I'm tired of getting you Amazon.com gift certificates!"
"But I really like them. I can buy anything I want. They're awesome."
"But isn't there anything else you really want? Something different just this once?"
There was a thoughtful pause on the other end of the line before my father answered.
"Yes. I'd like world peace and a blowjob."
I hope you enjoy your Amazon.com gift certificate, Dad. Happy birthday!
Posted by mak at February 27, 2006 9:58 PMClassic. Oh, and eeew.
Posted by: daniel at February 28, 2006 12:08 AMEgad, Dad!
That's almost as unnerving as hearing my dad say "clitoris" (pronounced incorrectly) back in 1987.
Happy Birthday, Papa MAK!
Posted by: Jodi at February 28, 2006 5:01 AMI admire a man who has priorities. :-)
Your Dad sounds like quite a guy. Hope he has a lovely birthday.
Posted by: albert at February 28, 2006 9:52 AMWell HELL - I know what I am asking for for my next birthday...
Posted by: Spider at February 28, 2006 9:54 AMWell you did ask now didn't you?
Posted by: Jenn at February 28, 2006 11:42 AMI'm pretty certain you can use Amazon.com gift certificates to order a blowjob.
World peace is an entirely other matter.
Posted by: Brian at February 28, 2006 12:03 PMYou have one interesting family, MAK
Posted by: Violet at February 28, 2006 4:49 PMI can't imagine how one giftwraps a blowjob ... wait. Yes I can.
Posted by: Tom at March 1, 2006 12:30 AMYou Mom really did meet the right guy!
Posted by: MzOuiser at March 2, 2006 1:28 PM