Can everyone please stop asking me if I've seen the nude photo of Jude Law that hit the presses this week? DUH! Of course I've seen it. What sort of Jude Law nut do you take me to be? I was on those photos faster than Jude on a nanny. Honestly, people.
So what's the big deal? Everybody is acting like they've never seen his penis before. Come on, folks. THIS IS OLD NEWS. Jude has been naked in several of his films, including some brief full frontal shots. I am proud to say that I've seen all of these movies (how many of you can say that you actually sat through The Wisdom of Crocodiles voluntarily?) and done the obligatory freeze frame. Over and over and over again. And sometimes with a Kleenex in hand.
I don't understand the whole "It's so small!" mentality. Everybody knows that you can't judge a book from it's cover or a penis from it's limpness. It's certainly on the average side - nowhere near tiny - and clearly nice and thick. He must know how to use it or he wouldn't have gotten married, divorced, and engaged, become my not-so-secret lover, diddled his nanny, and possibly gotten re-engaged again.
Taking the "grower not a shower" theory into consideration, I think the law of averages works in favor of my darling Jude. Personally, I can only think of exactly three penises I've encountered in my illustrious past that are as impressive in their soft state as they are when they're gettin' their freak on. And I've seen a lot of penises in my life. So unless you're prepared to mimic the exact meteorological, environmental, thermal, and/or psychological conditions present at the time the photograph was taken and whip it out to do a comparison, then shut the hell up and keep your pants on.
I should point out that I do have access to the photographs that show Jude unleashing the full force of the Law. I dare say that they would put a stop to all of this speculation once and for all. However, they are highly personal and we vowed that we'd never have a Colin/Paris/R. Kelly/Pamela & Tommy situation on our hands.
That being said, bidding starts at $100.
Posted by mak at August 21, 2005 11:24 AMjude law = yummy!
Posted by: Wannabeleader at August 21, 2005 2:24 PMDo I hear $200? ;)
Posted by: Doug at August 21, 2005 2:49 PMi thought his dick was adorable. and keep in mind that he was bending forward. go get in front of a mirror and bend over and see what it does to the length of your dick.
Posted by: thomas at August 21, 2005 3:13 PMI saw it 6th row center, attached to said actor who was jumping up and down in a bathtub (with soapy water included), in "Indescretions." It's lovely.
None of this matters anyway because he is so clearly a total bottom.
Posted by: Michael at August 22, 2005 11:12 AMScrew the pics, it seems a taste test is in order. The full monty python.
k
And sometimes with a Kleenex in hand.
How sweet to know that Jude Law's penis made you cry.
Wait, on second reading...
Posted by: Tin Man at August 22, 2005 4:37 PM