Patrick here from the Traveling Spotlight. MAK asked that I do a little guest blogging at his site and actually used the words "No Holds Barred." Poor innocent boy...little does he know what he just said.
Now I wasn't sure what to call myself on this site. On TunaGirl's site, I've been named the gay tunapet. My first thought was to call myself a Gay Cow...but I wasn't thrilled about being called a cow...so I think I will be called a Cow Pattie. That sounds better.
Now MAK doesn't know this, but I'm really jealous of him. Not only does he get the wonderful K as a husband, but he's over the pond celebrating Jude Law as a second husband. Here I am...single and bitter, and he gets two husbands? That's sex on a very regular basis!
So I decided I would remind him as to how difficult it is to be single. This is a few excerpts from my last date:
Patrick: So you said you were a cyclist? Do you bike often?
Mr. Goodbody: Yes.
P: Really...how much?
MGB: 7000 miles last year.
P: Wow...that's a lot. Where do you cycle?
MGB: The country.
P: What are your favorite movies?
MGB: Comedies and Dramas.
P: Any particular movies?
MGB: No.
P: (beginning to drink coffee faster) Favorite books?
MGB: I don't really like to read.
P: ....favorite color?
MGB: White
P: (finishing coffee) Oh look...my coffee is finished...
MGB: (get's up) I'll get you another.
P: (text messaging anyone he can think of)...CALL ME IN 5 MINUTES!!!!!
(nobody did...)
MGB: Here's your coffee.
P: So what do you do in your free time?
MGB: Nothing really.
P: So you sit at home and stare at the walls?
MGB: I surf the internet.
MGB: I'm not really a people person.
P: Really?
MGB: My ideal Christmas Holiday would be two days not seeing anyone.
P: ***blank stare*** Well it's after 10:00 and I should be getting home...
So of course...he's called me twice since then. He wants to go out again.
I'm getting my tubes tied.
You always choose the most attractive aliases, Patrick.
Although as 'Cow Pattie,' you could also be known as MAK Patty. Add 'special sauce' and you're ready to go.
Posted by: Famous Author Rob Byrnes at February 24, 2005 2:58 PMCow Pattie?
Oh, dear. Sounds like the name of a Garbage Pail Kid.
Posted by: Tin Man at February 24, 2005 4:23 PMThose are always the ones that do call you back I have learned.
Posted by: joey at February 24, 2005 5:24 PMPatrick, what's going on with your advance filtering system that you didn't weed this one out before meeting in public for coffee? Do tell what apparently hot body parts must have inhibited the right neurons from firing in your brain.
Posted by: Jeffrey at February 24, 2005 5:28 PMno cow pattie...but i did find this one -- the less smelly variety.
http://www.poundart.com/gpk/roughs/s05/192_meatmarket.jpg
Posted by: tribecatexan at February 24, 2005 7:25 PMWhat wonderful conversations await me!
Thanks Cow Pattie!
Posted by: jase at February 24, 2005 9:34 PMMAK has lost his mind. Did he learn nothing from seeing you guest blog for me?
And as for you date...what a sad, sad man. ;-) Hot (and I've seen proof). But sad.
Posted by: Karen at February 24, 2005 9:43 PMHey, neat. This is like when Joan Rivers did the Tonight Show for Johnny.
I think I might very well live with the guy in that date of yours. Either that ir the two of them should meet.
I'm not really a people person either but I like being among people because I'm also a masochist.
Posted by: Michael at February 25, 2005 1:28 PM