We all know how exceptionally skilled I am at controlling my temper, especially when it comes to stupid people, right?
So I use my credit card at the MetroCard Vending Machine this morning to buy my 7-day unlimited card. Screen says: Your card has been charged $21. Out pops MetroCard. Out comes receipt. Receipt says: Transaction Failed; Amount Charged $21, Fare $0.
I am not pleased.
I swipe card at the monitor thingie that tells you how much time is left on your card. It says: See Agent. I proceed to token booth. Agent is unhelpful. To say the least. I am instructed to fill out this form, mail it back to the MTA, enclose my receipt and my MetroCard. I ask her to buzz me in through the turnstile since I just lost $21. I am instructed to go to Hell.
I am so not pleased.
To make a long story short (too late), here is the final exchange of the conversation:
Station Agent: "Sir, if you jump that turnstile, I will have security on your ass so fast."
Me: "Really? You'll have to find them first. Because if they even really liked you, they'd have been on my ass the first time I called you a bitch."
And with that, I jumped the turnstile.
Posted by mak at August 19, 2004 11:38 AMHa!! That reminds me of a David Sedaris story I read recently: "She was at a cash register, screaming at a customer. She was, in fact, calling this customer a bitch. I touched her arm and said, 'I have to go now.' She laid her hand on my shoulder, squeezed it gently, and continued her conversation, saying, 'Don't tell the store president I called you a bitch. Tell him I called you a fucking bitch, because that's exactly what you are. Now get out of my sight before I do something we both regret.'"
Posted by: C at August 19, 2004 12:38 PMAh, to be limber enough to be able to jump turnstiles.
Posted by: sam at August 19, 2004 12:51 PMwant me to kick his (her?) ass when I'm up there tomorrow? I'll do it, you know...
Posted by: zenchick at August 19, 2004 12:57 PMYou are my HERO! I'm actually gleeful over that story! GLEEFUL! ME!
Please post a picture of yourself perched on the bow of a sailing ship, sword arm raised, shirtless and holding the hair of an MTA clerk-cum-galley slave who is sprawled out across the deck of the ship at your feet.
Sails should billowing.
Thanks.
Posted by: Michael at August 19, 2004 1:00 PMI think that presents a whole 'nother Olympic sport in addition to marathon group sex... MTA turnstile jumping. MAK wins the gold!
Posted by: Jenn at August 19, 2004 1:25 PMGrrrr - Yea you! Power to the people who can jump turnstiles!
Posted by: amanda at August 19, 2004 1:41 PMJumping turnstiles in a single bound, MAK reminds me once again that:
1) He does look good in tights.
2) He is wearing torn underwear.
3) I miss the NY Metro Authority.
I love how you can still be clever when you're angry. When I'm angry I cry. Which never helps.
You're like Mad MAK! You just need your own movie franchise.
Posted by: Karen at August 19, 2004 2:12 PMAh, another reason why I love you so....
Posted by: mark at August 19, 2004 2:31 PMI just had to chime in...You are, as well, my hero. Thank you for the validation and the turnstile jumping!
Posted by: Tony Cody at August 19, 2004 2:53 PMI can never think of anything that witty to say when I am pissed!
Posted by: ruggerjohnnyd at August 19, 2004 3:36 PMAhh...New York. I miss it. :-)
Posted by: The Other Brian at August 19, 2004 3:40 PMMad MAK Beyond Turnstiledome.
Nah. But I am SO living vicariously through you.
Posted by: MzOuiser at August 19, 2004 5:02 PMDId you do Xena's Ayiyiyiyiyiyi BattleCry as you jump over?
Posted by: Wayne at August 19, 2004 5:04 PMAnd to think.... you were just an innocent and polite midwestern boy just a few short years ago.
Posted by: steven at August 19, 2004 5:13 PMoooo.. that was good... so brave and angry... i bet you turned some heads when you steamed off... sorry, had a thing for men who are angry cos they look gorgeous mad. :P if i were there i'd give you a big sloppy one!
Posted by: jennir at August 19, 2004 7:40 PMI am loving this sudden trend of aggressiveness!\
Go, MAK!
Good for you!
Posted by: Jess at August 19, 2004 10:09 PMSorry MAK, yu need a course in anger management. It wasn't the bitch's fault that the machine screwed you. She's just trying to get through her 8 hours. Take the stupid form and be polite.
And sorry, but nobody tells me to "Go to Hell" before I've had my morning coffee and after I've lost $21 (which is unfortunately more than a little pocket change for me) and can't expect to NOT be called a bitch. Twice.
It's all part of living in New York. And that is the ultimate anger management course.
Tra la.
Posted by: MAK at August 20, 2004 10:11 AMwho the hell are you Joe R? her boss!
Posted by: L at August 20, 2004 10:15 AMNo way Joe R. Nope. Having lived in NYC for 8 years now I can tell you I have never seen a population so ready, willing and able to be walked on as New Yorkers. That MTA clerk was "trying to get through her 8 hours" by doing as little as possible and reacting with threats when it looked like she might have to attend to a customer.
It's about time people just said "I'm not going to take it anymore."
Posted by: Michael at August 20, 2004 10:32 AMIn NYC it's MTA... in Chicago it's CTA. They are both staffed by equally inept morons. Good for you. I'd have done the same thing!!
Posted by: RcktMan Rick at August 27, 2004 2:40 PM