'Til The Cows Come Home

The Unshockable Mama MAK

I had originally asked my mother to guest blog for me this weekend, as her previous stints as guest blogger were all the rage here at the Barn. However, last night she submitted a comment on the 1-26 Things About Me post that was so perfect that I removed it from the comments and told her I would use it as her guest blog post instead. So, back by popular demand, please welcome Mama MAK:

Dear MAK,

I think you were three weeks late because it was just so nice and comfy in there! Not only was your face indented from the forceps, but I got one hell of a spinal headache. You had such a big head (I'm not even going to go there, so don't ask!) that a nurse had to get on the table with me and push down on my stomach while Dad held me under my shoulders to help push you out! Do you have any idea of what a spinal headache feels like? Well magnify the worst hangover you ever had 100 times. It also lasted for a week.

I have to say, though, even with those purple marks on your face you were still a beautiful baby. You were also the biggest baby in the nursery. People would stand at the glass window and make comments like "My God, look at the size of that one! Do you see the size of his head? Glad I didn't have to push that one out!" I didn't think it would be proper to shout out, "Hey that's my kid and I have the biggest hemorrhoids to prove it!"

As for #19, don't you remember when I asked you in the car in front of the Conservatory if you were sure you didn't want to try to fuck a girl, just once to be sure? I can still see the shocked look on your face! And you think group sex would bother me? I believe in don't knock it if you haven't tried it. Hehehehe.

And L. (from your comment re: #20), even I remember who The Jets are. They rumbled with the Sharks in West Side Story, right? LOL.

Your not-so-easily-shocked,

Mother