January 17, 2004

Taxi Cab Confrontation

Setting:
Corner of 46th Street and 9th Avenue, roughly 3:30 a.m.

Cast:
MAK, a very cute and very intoxicated bar hopper (but very cute)
Taxi Driver, has a surprising grasp on the English language

Scene.

MAK: Hi, Jackson Heights, Queens, please. (Note from the playwright: MAK is very drunk at this point, having been out since 6:30 with Bob and Crash. Should sound like "Haaaaiiee, Jakshun Heish, Queensh, plish.")

Taxi Driver: Um, yeah, you're gonna want to get out and get a new cab, then.

MAK: (suddenly more sober) Um, why is that?

T.D.: I need to go back to New Jersey. Queens isn't on the way.

MAK: You're on duty, though, right?

T.D.: Yes.

MAK: Then it doesn't matter. Take me to Queens.

T.D.: But I have to go to New Jersey.

MAK: Okay, listen buddy, I'm not your ordinary cab passenger. I'm not stupid. I read the newspapers.

T.D.: Um, so?

MAK: So I know that last week, the courts ruled that a taxi driver can have his license revoked if he refuses outerborough fares.

T.D.: What?

MAK: Yeah, so let me just get my pen and write down your medallion number, and then I'll get a new cab.

T.D.: Fuck. So, uh, Jackson Heights, you said?

MAK: Good man. Um, mind if I roll this window down and hang my head out of it while we drive? You'll thank me later.

End scene.

Posted by mak at January 17, 2004 6:40 PM